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Friday, December 17, 2010

Research Paper on Sexuality

Research Paper on Sexuality

As natural human individuals, our tendency is to be sexual and express our sexual attitudes, needs, and desires. In reality we live in a world that is based on what is socially acceptable and what is not, thus expressing our human sexuality may be inhibited and impossible for our voices and desires to be heard to the fullest. For hundreds of years women voicing out their sexual needs and desires was seen as improper and finally there is a new sexual revolution arising that has changed this setback. This innovative revolution tackles the common problems that many women face regarding sexual expression and influencing what society thinks is acceptable and what is not. With this emergence of a new generation of women with more expressive behaviors and attitudes, the once unspoken voices of female sexuality and desire can now be heard. To better understand this concept we can look at the factors why it is difficult for women to be sexual openly and how the sexual revolution has changed the thoughts and approval of society.

When we look at this dilemma, we ask “What influences women to not express themselves sexually?” As stated earlier, women cannot fully convey their sexuality because how they are brought up according to what society thinks is suitable. Our culture, no matter how much we try to avoid it, is what molds us into the sexual beings that we are and includes factors such as family, school, religion, and our own personal experiences. In our society, we have a fundamental religious ideology that pertains to every aspect of life. There are things that correlate with either good or bad, that result in either going to heaven or hell. With sexuality in general, our culture has conditioned us to associate it with bad, shame and sin.

This is one factor that inhibits the demonstration of sexuality in both women and men.

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Another important factor is the role of women in society compared to men. “The gender effects undoubtedly reflect the strong socialization pressures on young men to be sexually active and young women to be sexually restrained.” (Whitley, Sex Roles, p.635) The conditioning of this view starts off when we are young. Boys are taught to explore, compete and dominate, while girls are encouraged to accept, cooperate and accommodate. Thus this leads to differences in sexual expression. Men will talk about sex in terms of desires, triumphs, and conquests, while women-when they do talk about sex- speak about disappointments, fears and complaints.

“Women in civilized society have increasingly lost touch with their natural rhythms of sexual desire, particularly in cultures dominated by masculine values and attitudes.” (Davis, Women, Sex and Desire, p. 9). In our culture women are expected to be tame compared to men and the role of women is to subdue them. Since women are the discipliners of men, they cannot engage in the behaviors men have.

With these specific gender roles, parents (influenced by society) unintentionally raise their daughters to think or feel inferior to men. “Girls are reminded of their defenselessness by parental warnings to avoid strange men, to be cautious on dates, never to leave a drink unattended, etc. (Foley, Sex Matters for Women, p.2). When a young girl is constantly taught that she is vulnerable and powerless, she will use this in every aspect of her life whether it is emotionally, physically and sexually. These early messages about sexuality warn girls that it is something they should fear rather than embraced, thus inhibiting them to explore their own sexual self.

Women having insufficient access to quality information on sex, female desire, and sexual health contribute to why they are not able to speak up because they are not educated about these certain topics. The accumulation of information is expected to start off when we are young and to be learned from our parents. Due to gender differences, many females are given more negative messages about sexuality than males. Examples include, “Sex is bad!”, “Shame on you for touching down there!”, “Good girls don’t have sex until after marriage.” Parents often emphasize to girls that no man will want to marry them if they have already been touched and society will judge or look down on you if you are promiscuous (i.e. calling you “easy” or a “slut”). Also girls aren’t taught that sex is fun or exciting. For example, a father and mother may be thrilled when a son gets his first girlfriend, but stress out when a daughter starts dating or sometimes even forbid it. So when females are educated about sex it is mostly negative and if they are educated, it is not sufficient enough. This then leads the female to grow up not knowing about sexuality in general and difficult to gain a perspective on her own needs and desires.

Now that we have distinguished the factors that contribute to the submissiveness of women regarding sexual experiences and desire due to culture, we can see how the sexual revolution is making an impact.

The sexual revolution arose from the women’s movement of new education and work opportunities for women and new religious freedoms. “Sharing more of men’s power, sense of entitlement and social clout, women generally feel more comfortable than did earlier generations in aggressively and unapologetically pushing their own interests in sexual relationships, that is, doing it “her way.” (Kamen, Her Way, p.1) Even though women are somewhat equal to men regarding education and in the workplace, there are still differences in how women can express themselves sexually compared to men so that is how the demand for change began. Although there was a sexual revolution during the 1960’s and 1970’s, it slowly evolved from a male-defined movement into one in which women can now call the shots. “Whereas the sexual revolution of that era promised women sexual freedom on men’s terms of promiscuity (always being available to satisfy their needs), the sexual evolution of the 1990’s and beyond stresses the importance of women’s taking charge.” (Kamen, Her Way, p. 4)

In this arising of a new generation of women, they possess characteristics that women in the past did not have. Young women of this generation share a strong sense of individuality, sexual entitlement and a quest for power in this society that you can say is somewhat male-dominated. Women now are independent, advanced and able to go for what they desire and want despite how they were brought up according to society.

An example we can use is the story of Monica Lewinsky and her affair with President William Jefferson Clinton. Her behavior after an affair the President Clinton portrays those of the new generation of women. This generation can be described also as being highly individualistic, unpredictable and non-conforming to what is expected. From what we can see Lewinsky did not do what society taught her to do. First her sexual profile, one that fits into the sexual mainstream of today’s generation, consists of having many past sex partners, making the first move, and indulging in diverse forms of play (i.e. oral sex in person and aural sex over the phone) Her actions are those that are acceptable for men, but not for women. So in this new generation, women are taking charge and the role of men. After the affair was out and made headlines, she definitely was not submissive and accommodating to her male counterpart. Instead of keeping quiet to save the reputation of the President, she did the total opposite and made sure that everyone knew exactly what happened. Her unwillingness to give in to a man’s demands demonstrates her strong sense of integrity and desire to be heard.

Women now are gaining power that is traditionally for males and taking action. The profiles of young women are becoming similar to men’s in terms of age of first intercourse and number of sex partners and casual encounters. Women now feel less guilt and shame, and are open about their behavior. The reason is women now share male values and are more sexually aggressive. Most importantly control over their own sex lives in their main goal. The new, outward, individualistic attitude of women is a main reason there is a revolution and the actions these women are taking.

Now we can ask, “Where do women get these ideas of taking charge and being assertive?” With every part of life, whether it is what products to buy or what music to listen to, media always plays a role in showing us how we should be sexually. Examples include television shows targeting teenagers and contain female characters that take charge and do sex on their own terms. The show, Felicity, on the WB network best depicts a character that is individualistic and expressive sexually. The character, Felicity, decides that she is ready to have sex and is very assertive by scheduling it with her boyfriend, educating herself and buying protection. In reality this is very uncommon with females and losing their virginities. “Fully 75 percent of women are unprepared for their first intercourse and find their initial sexual experience distasteful.” (Leiblum, Getting the Sex You Want, p. 7) Unlike Felicity, most women are unprepared for their first intercourse and this means that there was lack of education on sex and influence from their male partner might have been the reason why they did it.

The sitcom Sex in the City on HBO and the Vagina Monologues are other examples of ways women’s sexual feelings are being heard. In the television show, Sex in the City, depict women who don’t follow cultural norms and provides an example for women everywhere. Sexuality portrayed in media plays a significant role in the attitudes and behaviors of women and this revolutionize the way society accepts it.

With the results of the women’s movement, there are more women being educated than before. Education is expected to come from institutions and schools, but most is learned from our own experiences and what our peers have to say, especially with sex. During adolescence sex is a main topic for teens that are going through significant physical and emotional growth. Most early education of sex comes from sources other than parents such as peers and media. (25% from peers, 32% from media, Allgeier, Sexual Interactions, p.93) During this time girls begin hearing differently about sex than what their parents had told them. With curiosity about sex, experimentation may come along. Most experimentation with young females who are curious about sex includes self masturbation. This is the time when females discover sexual arousal and pleasure, something that was never told to them. The discovery if the clitoris may also occur during this time. “Only 14 percent of students had heard the word clitoris from their mothers and only 3 percent had heard the word from the fathers….compared to 20 percent heard the word penis from mothers and 55 percent from fathers.” (Allgeier, Sexual Interactions, p. 92) The discrepancy of hearing the word clitoris is explained by the fact that the penis is an organ with societally approved function (urinating) compared to the clitoris that is solely for sexual arousal and pleasure. Parents do not describe the clitoris because then they would have to explain arousal and pleasure component of sex to their daughter or son.

“Today’s young liberated female has learned that sex is good, desirable, and even that she is somehow deficient as a “total woman” if she cannot achieve paroxysms orgastic delight. Thus she believes not only that sex is okay, but that it is necessary to the fulfilled life.” (Baker, Family Relations, p. 297) This explains that this new generation has learned that sex is good and that it is natural part of life. Since females were always told and conditioned that sex was bad, this made it hard to express their sexual needs and desires. After experimentation and advice from peers, they soon learn that it is ok and begin to explore their sexuality. This self-discovering of her own body allows the woman to know what kind of sexual experiences she wants and makes it easier to openly state what exactly pleasures her.

These are the factors that explain why women were not able or had difficulty expressing their sexual selves due to society’s rigid mold and views. The manifestation of a sexual revolution is the reason why society is now accepting the behaviors and expression of women. Even though there is revolutionary change that is occurring, the ability for a woman’s voice to be heard on her wants and needs depend on her alone. There will always be conformities that our culture wants us to mold into, and it solely depends on the woman if she is going to follow it or break that mold and be her own sexual being.

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