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Saturday, October 7, 2017

Essay on Friendship between Adolescents

Is a friend in need a friend indeed? We are encouraged to become socially active from the age of three when our parents decide to send us to kindergarten or day care. From that moment on, a child throughout his or her development, both physiological and psychological can consume a significant number of friends, who actually play an active role in shaping the future of the adult`s personality. 

Traits such as the willingness to share, help, initiate any type of action, learn how to win, lose, communicate and lead are acquired during a person’s childhood.


According to Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary friendship is defined as „a friendly feeling or attitude: kindness or help given to someone”. („Merriam-Webster Dictionary“) „Friendship is a relationship in which the people are convinced that they are entering into contact with somebody original, unique and irreplaceable”. (Niebrzydowski) We can also identify different types of friendships. Someone can be a best friend, a good friend or a close friend. („Teens Health” 2)

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Throughout our childhood the level of interaction with other children is quite elevated. However, children do meet in different contexts. A child’s behavior can be very different in class, in a formal environment, than when he or she is meeting up with other children after school. Strong friendships can forge quite early in one’s lifetime. Childhood friendships are also the ones people are more likely to remember at a later stage of their lives. The influence that friendship has on a person varies a lot depending on a series of factors such as: cultural background, family values, age, gender, religion, etc. Most certainly, a child together with his or her friends embarks on a journey which is essential in forming the future, a more independent adolescent.

Adolescence is defined as „the period of life when a child develops into an adult”. (Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary) „A time of both disorientation and discovery, adolescence describes the teenage years between 13 and 19. With increasing rates of early-onset puberty, the preteen or „tween” years (ages 9-12) may also qualify. No longer children but not yet adults, adolescents struggle with issues of independence and self-identity.” („Psychology Today”)

Adolescence is a period of great confusion which is experienced in a different way by girls and boys. Change happens at a faster pace than ever before and it becomes obvious physiologically as well. It is also a period when a great deal of decisions regarding the person’s future plans are made.

Adolescence is also when a friendship between a girl and a boy can transform into a person`s first great love. Friends are being perceived, more than ever before, as the only reliable source of support.

This can also lead to exaggerated trust in someone`s companionship. Adolescence is also the age when curiosity is at its peak and therefore, with or without the so called „peer pressure”, many new things such as cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are tried out.

Some patterns evident in adolescents’ social groups have important implications for adolescent behavior. These can include problem behaviors such as drug abuse, delinquency, and sexual behavior. Through different friendships, adolescents learn about what others are doing, learn accepted and expected behaviors, figure out how to fit in, and find partners for trying out new behaviors. The most popular friendship pattern captured by social network analysis, and the one generally thought to characterize adolescence, is the friendship group or „clique”. (Bauman and Ennett 84-86)

A „clique” is a group of at least three adolescents whose main friendships are with each other. Although most adolescents have a very best friend, those pairs are usually within a friendship clique instead of standing alone. That is, adolescents who consume drugs are typically friends with other drug users and those who do not use drugs are friends with other non-users.

Adolescents have a need to fit in, and within this need the power of the group is established. What the clique is doing, what „everybody” is doing is the most important - in their minds anyway. Peer pressure is a very real phenomenon. No matter what the peer group, there will be some sort of peer pressure. As adolescents split off into different athletic groups, band groups, science groups, there is peer pressure in each of them - sometimes it’s good and sometimes negative, and often a mix of both.

As adolescence join different social circles and make new friends, they have a tendency to start breaking away from their parents. („Royal College of Psychiatrists”) They make meaningful relationships with people outside the family, with friends that are their own age. Relationships change within the family also. Parents become increasingly less important in the eyes of the child as their life outside the family develops. (Klein) Disagreements emerge as the adolescents develop views of their own that are sometimes not shared by their parents. Adolescents spend a lot of time with each other, or on the telephone talking to each other. Although some parents are irritated by this, it is an important way of gaining more independence. („PMC” 10-12) These friendships are critical for learning how to get along with people and obtaining a sense of identity that is different from that of the family. (Brendgen) Clothes and appearance are a way of expressing unity with friends, although most teenagers are still more likely to get their values from the family. (Raub 45-50)

So, is a friend in need a friend indeed? As you can see, friendship shapes the way an adolescent matures into adulthood. It is very important to choose the right friends or social groups. It can mean the difference between surrendering to the negative pressure from them or choosing a group that is supportive.

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